A brief walk from 7-11 to the tram
There were many decisions leading up to the act of me at a Seven-Eleven, paying for a hot cup of Americano at the cashier, making it at the self-serviced machine, walked down a couple of blocks, and consequentially throwing the beverage into the bin. I didn’t care to look around to see if anyone’s watching, it was beside the point. It wasn’t a metaphor for anything. No lessons were learnt in the process of making (and not getting around to drink) this coffee.
I reached deep into the orange bin through its opening, let the beverage (coffee, cups and lid) hovers over the bin’s content, and let go. There were no hot stares, I think, and I didn’t look around to check. I joined other pedestrians at the crossing, waiting for the green man in motion to lit up.
The reason for the sequence of actions caught up to me as I sat on the tram. There were no one imposing shame on me but myself. Was there no other way? Between downing the piping hot liquid outdoor in 31℃ heat, or holding onto it on a jerky tram ride, or throwing it out, none of which were the original plan.
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There were many decisions leading up to the act of me at Seven-Eleven, paying for a hot cup of Americano at the cashier, making it at the self-serviced machine, if it wasn’t for the panic over raw fish I had for lunch when my TCM practitioner specifically told me not to. Her word of advice didn’t adhere initially, but on this particular day with heavy flow of blood and mucosal tissue, I thought I would care for once. To counter the hon leung (寒涼) of a poké bowl, I resolved in having a hot tea or coffee. I preferred tea, but coffee is easier and cheaper to come by at any given convenience store.
There were many things I would have preferred, like being able to stay in a flat where every item has its own place, in which I recognise and can return them to. I would have preferred to not have to leave my current living situation, to be out of the house for the sake of it. I would have preferred to have a place to just ‘be’.
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There were many decisions leading up to doing all these things I used to do at home on-the-go.